day 5ish

I missed another blog day! Oy! I sort of saw it coming too. I could have prevented the miss but I didn’t. Some things fall to the back-burner.

What a time I’m having in life, may I say slightly dejectedly. The effort a person has to put in to having a reasonably solid career is discouraging. Is that whining? I wonder if I’m getting stuck on career path options that are closed doors. Is my continuously running into rather large and daunting obstacles a sign for me to re-assess or is it the right amount of challenge I need to be able to add “perseverance” to my resume as I carry forth?

This morning I cried a little at my total lack of foresight in not majoring in something a bit more practical, useful and employable during my undergrad days. I’m not one to give much room for regret in my life but I was on the edge of falling off that emotional cliff when I woke. I remind myself, console myself a little, with the deep seated belief that everything is for a purpose and nothing is a waste.

When I was in my final semesters of college, my mother was diagnosed with stage C3 ovarian cancer. She died within two years of that diagnosis. It was heart-wrenching for me then and it is painful for me to write of it now, but, perhaps, had I majored in nutrition and been in the process of applying to a dietetic internship at that time I would’ve missed the unique and incredible experience of caring for my mother in her last stages of earthly life. In a way, that was an internship of my own.

That experience, however, doesn’t go on any paper to show my future employer. That experience is just mine. And now, 5 years after my college graduation, I’m in search of a career. Still.

My interests lead me to the health professional fields and, as a soon to be culinary school graduate, particularly to nutrition. Researching and reading and clicking every possible online link to my future is the discouraging part, though. Nutrition is a risky field. Sure, it is respected. It is needed. It is important. But there aren’t that many jobs to be had right now as a nutritionist (registered dietician). And there is so much process to getting the degree that I want to give up before I even begin.

Every dietician I talk to says they adore their job and that is encouraging. That, at the moment, is the extent of the encouragement I feel.

So does that mean it’s time to give up that idea? Idea. Not dream. I don’t really want to call it a dream because I don’t have a dream career. My dream career is vague. Being a dietician is specific. I just want to do something good in the world that affords me a good life, even if it is simple, and that I can be a family woman with. And I want it to be important.

I’m reflecting now on so many areas of sociology and their relationship to my present predicament. My benefit of BA in Sociology.

Life is hard.

…I almost ended this post at the above sentence. Life is hard. But, heck! I’ve made it this far and while having gone through at least a significant amount of adversity. And, as is obvious, I haven’t quit so far.

New way to end the blog of the day: I think I can. – whatever it is that I find is the right career for me to pursue: I can.

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